Chuck Norris wins Iowa Republican Caucus.
Nothing says presidential like machine guns and a ginger oiled honkey.
"Who were they gonna vote for? A pagan (Romney), a woman (Clinton), that pathetic piece of Antique Farm Equipment (Obama)?"
"The choice is obvious. I'm going to blast my way into the Oval Office with machine guns and a confederate flag!"
"The first in the nation caucus has historically been seen as a good indication of the temperature of the nation," an insider in the Norris staff stated during a televised interview Thursday night. "We hope this major win supports our guns and chewing tobacco lobby we have formed."
With such bizarre campaign platforms such as "Mandatory gun possession for whites", "Tax cuts on Old Milwaukee", and "Legal age of consent; 12", Norris has surprised the political world.