Please God No

Hi Kids, have you ever tried the choking game? It is neat and sweeping the nation. All you have to do is take some deep breaths and then cut off your air supply. It is so much FUN and will either thrill you or put you on an autopsy table.
So here's the how to:

1st - Take several deep breaths in and out (10-15 is recommended) and then have a friend strangle you. See picture.
2nd - Enjoy the ride... You will either experience a great euphoria or a horrible but euphoric death... Either way, you win!
3rd - Hide the corpse of the friend you just killed. Find a location at least 2 miles from your house. I know an eighty pound kid is hard to carry to consider making the pieces smaller by using a hacksaw that can easily be obtained from you father or step-father's toolbox. After the corpse has been sliced into pieces, take it as far away from the scene as possible. It is also a good idea to chop your friend up in a remote location. If you need to

borrow

your parents car feel free. Make sure to wrap the body tightly as not to leave forensic evidence behind. If you have a deep lake or an ocean nearby all the better!
4th - Create an alibi, make sure your friends can vouch for you presence during the time of the accident. Come to your friend's house as close to the incident as you can and convince them you were stuck in traffic. DO NOT tell anyone about your choking game mishap.
5th - LIE to police
This second part is for parents if you find your child unconscious. Here is what to do.
If you actually are in love with your little brat follow this diagram. If you don't, pick them up off of the floor and choke them some more, just to make sure they are out of the picture.
If for some unknown reason you wish to resuscitate your child, please your hands (in a fist) into their sternum and pull hard enough to help but not hard enough to crack their ribs shattering rib fragments into their supple lung tissue.
The Choking Game is an institution. One that should be carried on for decades by our children and our children's children's. I hope I have provided enough information to make your next choking game a fun and entertaining experience.