Ziploc introduces new "Fetus Savers!" resealable bags for home abortion-minded mothers.
"We now have a new Ziploc product in our line of multi-use plastic resealable bags. From snack, to sandwich, to freezer, to storage, and now to fetuses", announced newly appointed SC Johnson vice-president Beth Simermeyer on Wednesday.
"Our new 'Fetus Savers!' line of resealable home or back alley abortion bags will hopefully positively reinforce our market share and investor trust as an innovative and edgy company that has it's consumer's best interests at heart."
"The new bags hold approximately 20-30 first trimester fetuses, 10-12 second trimester fetuses, or at least 2 full term or full term partial birth fetus remnants... All with no pesky amniotic or fetal fluid spillage. Our competitors can't say that!"
"These bags are freezer and microwave safe and contain an interlocking air tight zipper seal that guarantees that your fetus will stay as fresh as the day your boyfriend got a pay day advance loan to cover your $300 abortion."