Please God No

Shocking photos of Rick Sanchez were released Saturday night via the AP. The newly unsurfaced photos show the untouched photos of Sanchez holding a young Elian Gonzalez at gun point.
"I may call people a bigot, and I may accuse the Jews of running CNN, but at least I'm not too much of a Cuban to point a loaded semi-automatic gun at a Cuban's infant's skull", proclaimed Sanchez during a phone interview Sunday morning.
Sanchez, a CNN hero for his bi-lingual reporting and his no nonsense style of journalism continued, "All Jews and Heebs and Whops and niggers should leave me alone. I've done my part for my country, and they should do their part. Take one of your own and point a rifle at it's head. It is so exhilarating."
Sanchez, recently fired from his long standing role as the afternoon anchorman at the internationally syndicated CNN apologized to his wife and kids during this interview.
"I am sorry that bigot Jon Stewart got me fired. I'm sorry all of those Jews had me crucified, just like Christ."
"Who else can cover a Mexican standoff like I can? I can translate instantly to Americans the English version of a hostage standoff. Statistics have shown that I can say 'there I shot her' in less than two seconds after the hostage taker has actually killed the hostage on live TV. Who are they going to replace me with? Cheech Marin?"
Sanchez will be missed.