Please God No

Parents and students lived every person's worst nightmare as another school shooter blasted his way onto the 10 o'clock news.
Upon hearing the news, parents streamed into the school looking for answers as well as their slightly grazed children.
"He was weird, and strange... and a bad shot," stated one student. "Definitely not NRA material. I mean, if you gave a monkey a gun and it shot at random, you would think it would severely injure more people. I mean; you know the term fish in a barrel, right?"
One student agreed, noting, "I'm surprised he even hit the target when he was shooting himself!"