The famous Minnesota State Fair kicked off late last week with the consistent drone of bus wheelchair lifts, depleting oxygen tanks, and lung blowers, our staffer Jeff Ricks on site at the fair reported late Friday.
The line of handicapped people literally stretched for miles, as our special residents waited in queue for the reptile petting zoo, the Characature sketch art exhibit, and of course; the fried cheese curd line.
"Damn, where have all these cripples been hiding," questioned Minneapolis resident "Tommy" Thomlinson. "There are more handicapped people here than at the Special Olympics."
Our reporter notes one group of people classically and perplexingly missing from the overall fair population. The blacks.
"I've seen like maybe 20 black people here all day! Twelve of them were taking tickets, two were driving the buses. three were working at the greek gyro stand, and the other three were holding hands with a white girl. How bizarre," stated Ricks.