Please God No

Colleen Hauser, the mother of cancer-riddled 13 year old Daniel Hauser, spoke to God this morning about her choice to rub eucalyptus and tea leaves on her Danny's tumor-filled body in lieu of proven and effective chemotherapy treatment.
"I can't say for sure, but I think God is kinda pissed at me", Mrs. Hauser stated in a phone interview Wednesday morning. "Yeah, I guess bathing him in Olive Oil, force feeding him raw baboon heart, and smearing his own 'leavings' into a cross shapes on his forehead, back, and buttocks didn't work as well as I thought it would. I've never been very good at science-y type of things."
Colleen also admitted that she "(is) a giant, selfish, ignorant, complacent, abusive, insane, reckless, arrogant blubbering butthole."
"When my son is gone", (which will be soon),"I hope he realizes that I only killed him because I loved him. I didn't want all of that modern and proven cancer treatments to taint my stubborn attitude and sheer stupidity."