Mormons are completely fucking retarded.

Elder Matumbo - #116 - 2012-01-08 03:07 - (Reply)

I was a mormon for over 35 years.
I was born a mormon and grew up in a sheltered environment where there was no reason to question it. mormonism is a club. joseph smith was a mason and copied much of the masonic ritual. The current mormon temple ceremony has much of the masonic signs, tokens, and ritual in it.
I stopped believing all things mormon after my first time through the temple. I was blown completly away when I saw my parents dressed in white robes, hats and aprons waving their arms in the air chanting Pay Lay Ale. It really did fuck me up, but because I was so indoctrinated by repetitive primary and sunday school songs, and the constant testimony meetings where you are encouraged to stand and say "I know the church is true, and joseph smith is a prophet of God" that even after my temple experiance I still went on a mission for two years.

One night my mormon wife and I were in the hottub and I looked up at the stars and said I am sorry, but I believe mormonism is dangerous and I no longer want to be involved and do not want our children involved. She cried because she was relieved and admitted that she had never belived in it either. The mormon church uses guilt very effectivly. You are constanty told you are inadequate and you need to do more for the church.

There is a cognative dissonance that allows educated mormons to stay in the church. There is no doubt that the church is a cult. Many members stay only because of family or business relationships. When I left the church, I lost almost all of my mormon clients. mormons always hire mormons first. Competency comes second.

Someone on this thread asked one of the mormons why they came to a "mormons are retarded" site. It is because the church leaders tell them to. At conference, mormons are told "seek out websites that are negative to the church and refute them". "Offer your testimonies to those who make negative statments about the church" (gordon hinckley- mormon profit) You can usually tell a mormon on a thread like this when they start by saying "Im not a mormon but..."

I have EARNED the RIGHT to say that mormons are FUCKING RETARDED. This statement is fact.

mormonism is a dangerous cult. It is a billion dollar cult and that is the pure motivation. It is said here that mormons squeeze a nickle so hard they make the beaver fart. ( I am Canadian and our nickles have a beaver stamped on them.)

Much of the original doctrine of the church is being hushed and swept under the carpet. (ask a mormon about Bruce R Mckonkie. The older mormons will know.)They are trying to hide the history of racism, bigotry, polygamy and all the other bullshit that joseph smith made up. BTW some mormon on here asked " how could joseph smith write the book of mormon in three months if it was not inspired by God. Well, he didn't and it wasn't. joseph smith was a retard con man. A man named Sidney Rigdon wrote much of the story. Actually he copied much of the story from other texts. I am sure that even with the "seer stones" joseph could not have seen the future to know that both science (DNA) and global information would prove their stories to be completly false.

I wish that mormons could wake up to this fact. More and more are, but some will not. They are sheep and they allow the church to think for them. They are constantly told in the conferences that "once the leaders have spoken, the thinking has been done".

I could say so much more, but I have said enough.
Note that I have tried not to capitilize anything mormon as an intentional sign of disrespect. I am an angry ex-mormon. Angry that they stole so much of my time and money that I will never get back.

I was once a completely fucking retarded mormon, but now, am not. I was blind, but now I see.

Elder Matumbo
(from the book of mormon on broadway)

Elder Matumbo - #136 - 2012-02-20 17:54 - (Reply)

Of course it is a trap, but it really doesn’t matter. If you are not a mormon, you are ill equipped to be a mormon apologist as you do not have enough information to be able to defend anything mormon. The fact is that there is overwhelming evidence to support TKs’ statement that “mormons are completely fucking retarded”.

If you simply scratch the surface of actual mormon doctrine it does not take long to expose the insanity. The mormon church has been using the PR engine to whitewash the core beliefs and original doctrine of mormonism. They do this because they are trying to appear normal to attract new members, but also behind the scenes right now, they are trying to help elect a mormon president of the U.S.

Another mormon lie is that the the church does not get involved in politics. If that were the case, why would they pump 20 million dollars of charitable donatations into proposition 8 in California? The obvious reason they did it this is because they are homophobic, but the other is to try to buy acceptance to the Christian community. It didnt work.

You hit the nail on the head when you said that your mormon friends have been members since birth and don't know any better. Good luck with that. Children are exposed to repetitive songs and testimonies and are indoctrinated from the day they are born. They are brought up in a protected bubble, protected from any critical thought of their own.

Elder Matumbo - #187 - 2012-05-20 00:22 - (Reply)

Thomas Monson Mormon profit direct quotation:
"I was not with joseph, but I believe him. My Faith did not come to me through science, and I will not permit so-called science to destroy it."

Nikky, there are "things in your religion" that you don't yet understand" because they are incomprehensible, fabricated rubbish. Stuff that that "so-called science" has proven wrong time and time again.

BTW the only thing your sweaty cult polyester jesus jamies are protecting you from, is smelling good.

Elder Matumbo - #195 - 2012-05-21 22:55 - (Reply)

Nikky, it does take guts for a mormon to come to a website that alledges that mormons are fucking retarded, but if you review what you are defending, you will see how silly it is. Can you please tell me how the strange mormon underwear is a representaton of how to stay pure?
Why has the mormon underwear changed over the years? It used to go all the way to the wrists and the ankles, then up to just below the knee and short sleeves. Now they are above the knee and very short sleeves. Seems they are getting smaller and smaller. Does this mean mormons need less reminding to stay pure these days? You have to wonder why your church evolves with the times, you would think if god gave joseph smith rules in the 1800's they should still apply today and if they don't they were bullshit from the start.

Also, what I can't comprehend is your 'word of wisdom" your doctrine and covenants say no "hot drinks" what does this mean? I see mormons drinking hot coco, herbal tea, and cup a soup all of the time. It can't be because coffee and tea have caffine, because mormons suck back gallons and gallons of Diet Coke, Pepsi, Mountain Dew and Red Bull. Don' t you ever just stop and say WTF?

When a religion dictates what you eat and drink, what you should wear, (including the masonic underwear), how much you must give in offerings (10%) to get to heaven, tells you how and how not to have sex. (no oral sex, no masturbating, no porn, etc.), pressure you to get married at 18-19 and have lots of babies, and tell you who to worship (Jesus, Joseph Smith). All these things make up the exact definition of a cult.

I would also like to know why a true religion of God would dissallow full membership and participation to Black people for so long. Only when it became a civil rights issue and public pressure did kimball have a "revelation" that changed the rule. Only a racist cult would say that Native Americans would become "whte and delightsome" if they became mormons.

For your own well being, please consider what kind of organization you are defending.

Elder Matumbo - #201 - 2012-05-25 01:45 - (Reply)

Nikky, I think one of the definitions of insanity is providing a mormon with volumes of evidence proving that the mormon church is a false religion with a false prophet, and then expecting them to consider any of it.

I have to say that I am happy for your sister, and I hope that she can get past the guilt imposed on her by the mormons, and realize that she is now far better off. Tell her to keep going and not look back. I wish I could have gone that route. I would like to suggest you reconsider your comment suggesting your sister tarnished the churches "good name". The "church" is doing a very good job of that themselves.

I did not call you lazy as far as work ethic goes.The comment was not personal. I called mormons lazy for not using critical thinking skills. Perhaps I should have more accuratey stated that mormons are weak minded in the Jonestown way.

You mentioned that you do not have all the answers to your religion and are preparing to go on a mission. I would suggest that you look for all answers before you go out and try to convert people to the mormon way. I am hoping that once you realize that there are no real answers to your questions, you may reconsider. However, I don't think that will happen, so I wish you well with the "best two years of your life"

I testify to you that joseph smith is rolling over in is grave because he is so pissed off that he was shot before he could cash in on his scam, and even more pissed that tommy monson is.

Elder Matumbo - #207 - 2012-05-28 21:34 - (Reply)

Good one Robbie! Major in Phycology, minor in English, Must have been at BYU.
Phycology is the abilty to talk asparagus down off of a ledge.

Elder Matumbo - #211 - 2012-05-29 14:25 - (Reply)

Nikky
As usual, a Mormon cannot answer a question. You were asked about a current prophesy. Your only examples are about Eliga and the hearts of the children? Whatever the hell that means. And then you site some bibilical prophesy about 911? Is this really the best you can do? Is this really the most current prophesy you can quote? Nostradomas has more accurate prophesies that any mormon prophet. Your prophets on TV and radio are just typical televangilists demanding everyone to pay their tithing (full 10%) or risk the fires of hell.
You can pick up one of your church ensigns from 1975,1980,1990,2012 and it is all the same repetitive crap. There is nothing new! NO modern prophesies, no new information, just reworked stories of losing 5 dollars and praying and suddenly it is found in a pair of jeans.
Why would the great and almighty prophet tommy monson not prophesy about tsunamies, hurricanes and tornadoes that have killed thousands of people. Perhaps he could have saved some lives. No, the best this pompous prick can do is "say a little prayer" that the rain would go away so an outdoor dance performance could continue.

Nikky, if you goal was to come here and defend you faith, you have failed. You have simply given this site much more evidence to support that mormons are retarded clones with no substance.

Please do not reply to me saying "I am sorry you feel that way" blah blah blah.
Give us some concrete answers and examples or stop wasting our time.

Elder Matumbo - #219 - 2012-05-30 23:49 - (Reply)

Nikky
Wow, you are shocked! are you? I am sorry to hear that you feel that way. (sarcasm intended)
If there were any modern prophsies, I am pretty sure all the mormons would have the references to them on the tips of their tongues and be able to spout them off instantly. You take your time and go do some extensive research and get back to us with some CURRENT examples of MODERN prophesy and revelation. We will wait... but we won't hold our breath.
I know the bullshit about eliga, but I specifically asked you about MODERN prophesy. One of the mormons big claim to being the "true and living church" is MODERN prophesy, yet you can only quote some lame story from the original con man himself circa 1830s, that is just as fabricated as the book of moron itself.
Give us something new, a prophesy from recent history. You have to know thomass ass monson is not prepared to stick his neck out with a prophesy of any kind because he knows it is a fraud. He knows he dosen't "walk and talk with god", and if he makes a prophesy he knows he will be proven wrong.
Doubletalk all you want, I want an example of modern prophesy.

PS don't you dare try to claim that when kimball allowed black men to participate in the priesthood it was revelation. It was not. It was sociopolitical decision based on pressure of the time and nothing more.

No need to reply until you have a solid example. I will miss you. On second thought...

Elder Matumbo - #223 - 2012-06-03 23:54 - (Reply)

Lostpro, even if we got a semi intellegent mormon to respond, they still could not answer the questions you or I or anyone else here has posed. You notice that once you pin a mormon down to specifics, they retreat back into the bubble and stop responding.

Elder Matumbo - #227 - 2012-06-07 00:33 - (Reply)

It has long been my contention that mormon children are brainwashed from birth. I am often wrong, but perhaps not this time.

Elder Matumbo - #229 - 2012-06-08 00:07 - (Reply)

Robbie, you make an excellent point. I have always struggled with understanding the cognitive dissonance with intellegent and educated mormons. Your statement that it becomes too intellectually and emotionally demanding to shift is spot on though. I can empathazie with those who are stuck, but as you say if they would give in to thermodynamics, they could avoid the mental illness and the prescription drug abuse that is so rampant in the mormon community

Elder Matumbo - #255 - 2012-07-10 23:08 - (Reply)

What an excellent day for an exorcism.

Elder Matumbo - #261 - 2012-07-18 01:34 - (Reply)

Liberty
I am sure that father monson and all the mormon mouthbreathers will be so proud of you for defending all those negative beliefs out there on the internet. I hope you have the opportunity to share your testimony next sunday and tell all the brothers and sisters how you made such a powerful post using the power of the holy ghost. OOOH I have shivers going up and down my spine.

If you belive there are only two types of antimormons you need to remove your head out of joseph smits ass and venture a little bit further out of your bubble to discover there are quite a few more. As far as your church being perfect? a perfect example of a cult maybe.

In the name of Jesus Christ, I attest to you that Joseph smit is a fraud, and mormonism is a dangerous goosestepping cult of lemmings.

P.S.
The holy ghost is watching when you touch yourself that way.

Elder Matumbo - #263 - 2012-07-20 01:48 - (Reply)

Robbie, you would think that one thing the mormon milk making breeders should be able to understand is 'mammalian feelings". However, they just don't seem to be able make the connection. Maybe in 1000 years utah will join the 20th century and the word will spread.

Elder Matumbo - #293 - 2012-08-29 01:03 - (Reply)

Tom, your post is a perfect balance of ignorance and misinformation. You have the typical mormon persecution complex and you arrogantly ignore the fact that mormons are guilty of plenty of violence and persecution of their own. (mountain meadows, proposition If the mormon church simply speaks out against gay marraige that is freedom of speech, but the moment the church spends a cent of donated money to fund suppression of civil rights, that IS discrimination and that is exactly what they did.

Your claim that "NOT ONE LEADER" gets paid for their service is also false. The mormon church makes the claim of unpaid ministry but they neglect to disclose the fact that the mormon prophet and apostles recieve generous living allowances and expense accounts that exceed many CEO incomes.

If you are going to waste our time with drivel, please at least give us factually correct drivel.

Your Leader, your claim that a large mormon farm = true church is asinine. You are surely the leader... of the idiots ( I guess elders quorum)

Elder Matumbo - #297 - 2012-08-30 00:25 - (Reply)

Tom
You are a dim witted lemming aren't you. Its too bad you had to waste so much time learning spanish for your mission that you neglected to learn about your religion. Your 3 counterpoints are pretty much just rambling incoherent trash.

1. The mormon church has made several apologies for the Mountain Meadow Massacre most recently by Henry Eyring in 2007. The mormon church seldom takes responsibility for their actions but in this case, the chuch has accepted responsibility so why can't you?

2.The mormon church sent 20 million dollars to California to fund the anti-gay proposition 8. Court records also indicate that the church was fined for not disclosing the entire amount. Deny all you want but if you remove your head from your ass and look up the public court documents you will find this is a well documented fact.

3. You have accused me of having my own persecution complex because I am either black, gay. athiest blah blah. First, this statment exposes you as an ass, but second you missed the target. Unfortunately the only skeleton in my closet that I am embarassed to confess is that I was a mormon for many years.
In fact Tom, for several years I was the stake financial secretary and dealt with church headquarters very frequently. I am well aware of the church finances and if there is one thing mormons like to do is gossip and I got many stories from those in the know in SLC about the muted but extravagant lifestyles of the church leaders. Monson has quite a reputation for being a demanding pig.

So tom, I have earned my title of elder and you can now just go and fuck your hatbadge!

Elder Matumbo - #305 - 2012-09-02 23:55 - (Reply)

Tom
You are a dim witted lemming aren't you. Its too bad you had to waste so much time learning spanish for your mission that you neglected to learn about your religion. Your 3 counterpoints are pretty much just rambling incoherent trash.

1. The mormon church has made several apologies for the Mountain Meadow Massacre most recently by Henry Eyring in 2007. The mormon church seldom takes responsibility for their actions but in this case, the chuch has accepted responsibility so why can't you?

2.The mormon church sent 20 million dollars to California to fund the anti-gay proposition 8. Court records also indicate that the church was fined for not disclosing the entire amount. Deny all you want but if you remove your head from your ass and look up the public court documents you will find this is a well documented fact.

3. You have accused me of having my own persecution complex because I am either black, gay. athiest blah blah. First, this statment exposes you as an ass, but second you missed the target. Unfortunately the only skeleton in my closet that I am embarassed to confess is that I was a mormon for many years.
In fact Tom, for several years I was the stake financial secretary and dealt with church headquarters very frequently. I am well aware of the church finances and if there is one thing mormons like to do is gossip and I got many stories from those in the know in SLC about the muted but extravagant lifestyles of the church leaders. Monson has quite a reputation for being a demanding pig.

So tom, I have earned my title and you can now just go and fuck your hatbadge!

Elder Matumbo - #312 - 2012-09-15 02:24 - (Reply)

Gestalt therapy and mormon geneticists? OMG I can't stop laughing.

Speaking of elitists, butt plugs, and bullshit - Mittmormon Romney is in the news tonight:


“…this week, Mitt Romney up’d the ante, telling a crowd in Virginia ‘I will not take God off of our coins!’ …taking a bold and unwavering stand against something no one has ever asked anyone to do.”

“Other things Romney will not do with currency, no matter how much you threaten or plead include nailing a silver dollar to his forehead and shoving a roll of dimes up his ass. By the way, that’s Pat Robertson standing behind Mitt … because who knows more about using the connection between God and money.”

Bill Maher

Elder Matumbo - #314 - 2012-09-17 00:30 - (Reply)

"Joe's gonna be smokin' an' I ain't even jokin but I'll be peckin' and a pokin' and I'll pour water on that smokin'. Now this might astound and amaze ya but I will destroy Jo Frazier."

Muhammad Ali


"Joe's been smokin and I mean tokin that he got so high and made up a lie - He made up a book that dirty little crook, and part of that fraud was that he was a god. That boy smith created such a myth that those who are blind and have weak a mind would give their consent to pay 10 percent. He went really far and got more bizarre and convinced dull-wits to swear to put on magic underwear. "

Muhammad Mutumbo ( I am not a poet and really do know it)

Elder Matumbo - #316 - 2012-09-19 01:03 - (Reply)

Hey that is an awesome idea. Moroni pilsner, Joe Myths Dark Lager, Stout Pale Mormon Wife blend, Blonde Virgin Cream... We could package a free set of mormon logo underwear with each keg.

My relative, Pliny the Elder would be impressed with our beer marketing skills.

Elder Matumbo - #338 - 2012-10-01 22:24 - (Reply)

"in fact I find your beliefs rather fasinating"

Nicky, you stole that line from Seinfeld. Festivus Rules!


We all know mormons are not perfect, but down deep, they really think they are. This is exactly the reason why anal bleaching has never really become popular in utah.

Elder Matumbo - #344 - 2012-10-06 23:48 - (Reply)

Ashley, I agree there are some dumb posts here, but there are many smart ones as well. If you read carefully, you will find that the mormon apologists provide the most benighted entries on the site.

Mormons typically respond "you need to do some research". Research has been done and If you look back through the posts, you will see that mormons have been provided with numerous facts, but these facts are ignored and countered with feelings, promptings, burning bosoms, and blind faith. There is a small place in life for faith, but when facts exists, fact trumps faith. mormonism defies fact and logic.

You say that if we want to learn something, talk to a member of the mormon church. Ok then, go for it. Teach us something that you know. I will give you a starting point. I was just reading an article that the mormon church earns more than 7 billion dollars per year from tithes and offerings. The "church" or "corporation of the president" in turn reinvests this income into FOR PROFIT business such as malls, office complexes, ranches, farms, real estate, construction companies, manufacturing etc. etc. Most of the returns on these investments are not distributed to the poor and needy (just enought to keep the religious tax free status) but are hoarded by the for-profit prophet and his corporation.

Please enlighten us with some of your mormon insider insight on why such a god serving, non profit organization is such a enormous profit dragon?

Elder Matumbo - #346 - 2012-10-07 03:53 - (Reply)

TK, I am at a complete loss as to how these people can abandon common sense and disconnect from logic. I am reminded of a quotataion that I have posted here before. It is from the current King of Koolaid.

"I wasn't with Joseph, but I believe him. My faith did not come to me through science, and I will not permit so-called science to destroy it."
Thomas S. Monson (moron prophet)

Elder Matumbo - #348 - 2012-10-07 17:16 - (Reply)

Nicky, while I go find a concrete wall to bang my head against, could you please re-read TKs last post again? Because you COMPLETELY missed his point!! Read his last sentence over and over and over till you get it!

Did you hear recently about the idiot that jumped the fence at the Zoo to pet a lion? He had faith that the lion would not hurt him. The lion attacked and ripped out his throat. He is dead. The fact is, lions kill people. This fact may contradict the bible, but it is a fact.

Here is the link to the mormon money trail, although I expect you won't believe it. I don' think anything can penetrate that bubble you live in:
http://openchannel.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/08/13/13262285-mormon-church-earns-7-billion-a-year-from-tithing-analysis-indicates?lite
Paste in your browser.

Elder Matumbo - #352 - 2012-10-08 19:57 - (Reply)

Nicky, Several years ago while a mormon, I was reading a web-site such as this one. I could not believe what some people said about my church. However, the seed was planted and I asked myself if I really believed this fantasy, It turns out I didn't. I contribute to these sites in hope that I can pay it forward. We have provided you with the seed, now go nurture it.

If I can save but one soul from mormonism, how great shall be my reward.

Elder Matumbo - #358 - 2012-10-12 00:50 - (Reply)

Reality Check. Here are a couple of facts of the actual events:

1) While in Jail, Joseph and Hyrum sent for wine. The book "history of the church" indicates that the wine was not for sacrament, but to lift their spirits... literally. (remember this was after he made up the word of wisdom. (The do as I say not as I do rule book)

2) Joseph did not go quietly like the "lamb". Brother Weelock had given him a pistol which he had in his pocket. When the mob broke in, Joseph managed to get off three shots killing at least two as he ran to the window. He was shot in the back as he tried to escape from jail. Saying he was like a lamb to the slaughter is a complete distortion of reality and a LIE.

3)THe story that he called out my lord my god is another fabrication, although what else would you say when you get shot other than "Goddamn it", or holy "fuck they got me". "oh my god" or "good lord" is not unbelievable.

Adolf Hitler only wishes that he was a mormon because in 50 more years, these mormon spindoctors would have him remembered as persecuted snow white lamb.

Elder Matumbo - #360 - 2012-10-12 23:09 - (Reply)

History of the church is book by LDS historians. It is a mormon book!!
Your statements contridict your own chruch history. MY GOD, are you really telling us you get your information from songs?? Explains a-lot!
Perhaps you should take your fellow mormons advice and DO SOME RESEARCH on your own church! READ A GODDAM BOOK and will learn much more than songs, goosebumps, and spirits can ever teach you!

Jesus Christ Nicky I don't want to get personal, but come on, use some of that grey matter that god gave you to think for yourself.

This 7-book series (aka "Documentary History of the Church") is the official history (written between 1839 and 1856) of the early Latter Day Saint movement during the lifetime of founder Joseph Smith, Jr. It is largely composed of Smith's writings and interpolations and editorial comments by Smith's secretaries, scribes---and, after Smith's death, by LDS Church historians

Elder Matumbo - #376 - 2012-10-25 00:30 - (Reply)

Robbie you sesquipedalian stylist!

I fear that you are firing far above the average mormon intellect though. Mormons will have lost you at "psychological reasoning".

Elder Matumbo - #391 - 2012-11-08 22:10 - (Reply)

I know the question was for LMAO, but I would like to offer a suggestion to why we think mormons are stupid.

Mormons stupidly believed that America would elect a mormon president.

Apparantly, it appears that God does not concur with mitch romneys blatant lies or religious beliefs.

We tried to warn you.

Elder Matumbo - #395 - 2012-11-09 20:41 - (Reply)

Nicky, just a reminder that even though I think your religious beliefs are backwater batshit, I still respect that you have the spine to come back here and try to defend the lunacy. I have hope for you.

Elder Matumbo - #414 - 2013-01-13 00:58 - (Reply)

Making no since, you claim to be literate, but a pretty basic concept of literacy is the use of some sort of punctuation. I think Robbie tried to give you a hint, but it appears to have flown over that sharp intellect of yours. I guess that you are a convert to mormonism as that would explain your severe disconnet from the history of you religion.

Rather than debate each of your points, I would suggest that you review some of the previous posts where you will find most of your run-on statements refuted with facts.