Caring for a Dog is as easy as an open bag of Alpo and a toilet seat left up.

Does my dog have food? Maybe.
Does my dog have water? Of course... I always leave the toilet seat up.
Yes, true love for a dog is easy. Just dump out a whole bag of dog food and leave the toilet seat up.
Doctor visits and bathing are often an overrated extravagance that dogs and small children can live with out.
Everyone asks me when I go on a three day weekend out of state, "Hey, who is watching the dog while you're gone?"
"Nobody, asshole!" Is my usual reply. After all; who really needs to "watch" a dog that has an unlimited supply of Alpo and toilet water?
Now I know what you might be thinking..."What happens when the dog needs to go to the bathroom?"
What about it? You would be surprised at how well a 12 year old dog can "hold it" when every other time it hasn't, it has been beat without mercy. When I come home from a half week vacation I sometimes hope that maybe she made a little boo-boo on the carpet. The way I look at it, I lose either way. Either I have to clean up a mess or I have to find something else to beat on.