Lane Bryant Unveils new plus size body bag collection just in time for store shooting.
Lane Bryant's new plus-sized body bag collection
Lane Bryant (NasdaqGS:CHRS) announced it's new plus sized body bag collection just in time to help clean up one plus sized mess in their Chicago area retail store, it was reported Saturday afternoon.
During an afternoon interview with Dorrit Bern, CEO of Lane Bryant's parent company Charming Shoppes, Inc., Bern expressed sympathy for the victims of this afternoon's shooting.
"We were shocked to hear about the terrible gunning down of plus-sized women in our store. With that being said, our stockholders will be pleased to announce that we might still be able to make one final plus-sized sale to these plus-sized corpses."
"We have been excited about our new 'plus-sized body bag' campaign and this shooting has really put our new product off to a running start."
"For years, plus-sized dead women had to put up with the indignity of being zipped into a body bag that didn't fit right, or that felt constraining. With our new line of plus-sized body bags, our hope was to gain a market niche that we had not yet explored. Our new body bags are different because they are like regular body bags... but bigger!"
"With our innovative line of new products for the morbidly obese, we aim to make people as comfortable as possible no matter how fat they become. We actually manufacture novelty sized 12x shirts and slacks, as a joke, only to see sales skyrocket. It almost seems as though we can't manufacture an outfit big enough, that someone won't actually fit into. 'Free to be me', that is the Lane Bryant promise."
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youre an ass on :
lisa on :
What the fuck on :
Alyssa on :
Get a life, moron.
Me on :
angstmama on :
Pathetic.
A fatty on :
Thing is, you'll never learn, you are an asswipe of humanity
Justin Blackburn on :
guinevere on :
John on :
This was actually pretty funny to me, and yes, several of my friends, some of whom happen to be women. In a world full of sick and disgusting things happening all around us, a little comedy, however dark, helps make it all worth tolerating.
Chill out ladies.
Oh ho ho! on :
Good luck with that job search, dumbass.
(And, no, not everyone you know thinks it's funny. Some are cringing on the inside and thinking that you're almost as much of a dick as the guy who wrote the original article.)
Justin Blackburn on :
Oh ho ho ho! on :
Listen, asshat, put down the penis pump and get a conscience.
Sage on :
Doh! on :
Maria on :
For the families of these women, I offer my support and prayers. For them, I wish that them every blessing and good thought in the world, to ease their suffering and pain.
For you, however, the suffering is just beginning.
justme on :
Person with a sense of humor on :
And person who does this blog: Stop jerking off. What a loser.
red_delicious on :
Person with a sense of humor on :
Curve-alicious on :
Jackie on :
You should consider you couldn't write this article if you suggested these were body bags specifically for Blacks. Yet it's the exactly same form of sick discriminating humor.
I don't even really know what to make of you. I think you need to see a psychatrist. Maybe even be under hold at a mental health facility. I mean, you think people dying is funny. Would you be laughing if someone close to you died?
sarah on :
Jackie on :
Alex From Philly on :
Aebhel on :
Dude, he's getting all kinds of responses from people who don't think he's fucking funny.
And hey, guess what--I, personally, would rather hang out with someone who's obese than an immature, emotionally stunted fuckwit like you. Even if you're in eighth grade, that's pretty pathetic.
Anonymous on :
Aebhel on :
This is not edgy. This is not satire. There is nothing clever or witty about this, nothing to push it over the line from juvenile asshattery to true black humor. The whole of this article can be distilled down to, "Hey, fat women. But, like, DEAD fat women! And they're fat!"
Grow up.
Alex From Philly on :
I already posted this on another blog but it's too good not to share again!
You fatties need to get a sense of humor. Obese women being shot is funny!
I can imagine them cowering in the store trying to "strategerize" a way out.
One of them probably asked ," What would Kate Harding do?"
Another opined, "We can make a break for it and run for the door." But then all hope was lost when a third woman responded, "You do realize that we're morbidly obese. A turtle could beat us to the front door. Let's face it ladies, we're dead meat." And then in a moment of fat pride unity they all said, "Mmmm......meat."
Person with a sense of humor on :
Alex From Philly on :
Nancy on :
Don't knock the fat girls either...apart from you and me, they're only ones who apparently come to this site.
Alex From Philly on :
Alex has a puny pecker on :
Your scathing remarks and harsh reactions to people's posts really do make you sound like you're compensating for your penis size. In all honesty, you just sound like some rebellious teen from 4chan with no social life and no friends beyond the ones on his computer screen. Sounds like a sad life.
So we have no reason to fear your comments, Alex. You remind us of the qualities that make us better than you, like maturity and sanity.
Hope your life gets better...
Alex From Philly on :
Nancy on :
Take care, and good luck. Seriously.
Alex From Philly on :
Alex has a puny pecker on :
Ah, so another element is added to my overall perception of who you are behind the keyboard: you have severe body-image issues. You're probably anorexic.
Just another reason to take what you say with a grain of salt.
TK (Admin) on :
Bwah! on :
Sarah on :
Jackie on :
Maybe you would, it seems a good lot of you trolls are sick people who enjoy the suffering of others.
I also agree Alex is most likely one of those deranged f**k-ups from 4chan. Why don't you go back there and jack-off on some Lolicon. Stop wasting space here.
Alex From Philly on :
"If somehow we could harness the friction caused by fat women wearing corduroys we could end our dependence on foreign oil." - Al Gore.
Westboro Baptist Church on :
Alex From Philly on :
Jackie on :
Not a hater on :
"I think shooting fags is funny"
or
"I think shooting n*ggers is funny."
You think there would be an outrage then? Why do you imagine it's so different when you target another group, in this case, fat people (especially fat women)?
It must be nice to have a group of people you can automatically feel superior to, regardless of the content of your character, your talents, your experiences.
Alex From Philly on :
Jackie, I'm sure you're the "funny one" from your group of fat friends. But you also have the most stretch marks. You're worthless.
Now let me go smack an ice cream cone out of a chubby little girl's hand. She'll thank me when she gets to high school.
David Kenning on :
Alex From Philly on :
Guinevere on :
guinevere on :
I wonder on :
nope! on :
Jake on :
bigcat39 on :
What a sad excuse for a human being. Hope you die of a brain embolism. While you are on fire. But I'll settle for just painfully, messily dead. Sodomized to death would be nice. Oh, wait! Paralyzed, blinded, deafend, and mute! Then kept alive! That'd be nice.
Die soon
goose on :
Alex From Philly on :
Serah on :
Di on :
Fuck you. on :
Jackie on :
Lola on :
In addition, the article was classless. I'm guessing the author was attempting humor but failed miserably because his underlying message was to shame heavy women. Again, this is distasteful to any woman. Women already have a lot of pressure imposed on them by society to appear a certain way. This article attempts to state that if a woman were to appear as a size beyond "ideal" that women should then be subject to mockery and degradation. Women who are overweight deal with their weight on a daily basis, including any physical limitations and health problems which may be associated with their weight. I don't understand why people believe it necessary to also add emotional distress and social inadequacy to the equation?
Anyone can easily become overweight or even obese. The author of this article fails to understand that these women are just that, women. They have families and loved ones. Is it socially acceptable to make fun of women who die tragically?
I believe this article is not only against the heavy woman but against women. Those who wrote and support this article don't respect women, large, medium or small.
angela on :
angela on :
Serah on :
Russ on :
What I read was a parody depicting Lane Bryant in the role as the heartless American corporation trying to turn a horrific event into a profit opportunity. I didn't see any demeaning comment toward "fat women" anywhere, only flip genderless quotes from the CEO of the evil corporation.
It wasn't about fat women, it was about corporate greed.
The article wasn't hilarious but it was good. What was truly offensive was the mile of comments following the article.
You may now attack my intellect, morality, taste, maturity, and of course my penis.
Julianne on :
If you want to see what you are trying to do done properly, go to theonion.com.
At least they had the decency to wait a few weeks to come out with a post 9/11 issue that was both brutally hilarious, but somehow still quite respectful of the victims of such a horrific tragedy.
How long did you wait to write about the Lane Bryant slayings?
I really hope someone close to you doesn't report to work on a typical day, or go to pick up something from the store, only to be bound up ad shot in the head execution style. Fuck you, assholes. (And note: unlike the other reader who have comented on your articles, I don't come across like a fucking moron).
alex from philly on :
Zaleya Frank on :
Lori on :
alex on :
www.pleasegodno.com on :